I Love Randomness Y

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I have never believed in 姐弟恋 cause I've been in one before and I know it will never bear any fruits.

I'm starting to wonder how about same age relationship? Guys have to go through 2 years of army and during these 2 years, woman have almost finished their degree and perhaps are already holding on to a job. Now, guys come out, looking for school to complete their degree while women are perhaps struggling with their work. Will they have to start worrying if their guys are behaving well in school since their social network is different now?

I'm beginning to worry. Woman think of marriage much earlier than man. Woman has a lot of concerns but not man. The thought of all these are scary. In fact horrible. Can love be the only thing when 2 person are together? Can love survive everything? The current me don't think so. Love cannot last long. Perhaps for some couples, they can still be loving doving after 4,5 years of relationship but mine is no longer like that. We are like old couples except that we are not living together only. AHHHHHHHH!!! The thought that I'm older than him just scares me.

It has always been a thought that I don't like.
I hate people saying I'm like his elder sister.
I hate looking older than him.
I hate having more matured thoughts than him.
I hate it when I have to step into the working society earlier than him.
I hate the thought of seeing him in school again.

But, ultimately, I hate myself more because I have no confidence for this kind of relationship.

I hate being old. Even though I'm just 21, I still hate it a lot.
I hate people saying I'm much older.
I really hate the word OLD.

I... don't know what to say anymore. 4 years plus and I'm still having these thoughts. What kind of relationship have I been into all along?

10:00 AM

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm always proud to say, my temper was always good and under control. I don't flare up normally and I'm always the peacemaker when friends are angry with each other. So, this good temper since to have become a weakness for me. People now starts to take it for granted and has been trying to test the limit of it.

In my life, I thought I've got good friends. But lately, it seems that they have become crap friends. It's not just one but it is increasing even when I've gotten new friends. Don't put me pigeon when you are not sure if you have a date or not. I put away dates to go out but in the end what have I gotten? Don't promise to go out and suddenly tell me you can't make it anymore. Put yourself into that person shoe and think how you will feel if something as such happened. I can tolerate if it's just once or twice but if it happens repeatedly for 10 or more times, how can I trust a friend like that? It just makes me think that whenever I want to date me friend, I would still try not to in case I get put pigeon again. Even bf also say:' See, you will get put pigeon again lahx this time round. Everytime also like that one. haha!' This feeling is like shit man.

Maintaining a friendship. Hah. So contradicting. I tried my every best to maintain but it takes 2 hands to clap. Perhaps I need to change a new group of friends? But will it be that easy to change? Don't make your words empty too. 'Lets meet up soon!' is what I'll always see and hear but never is the action done. To plan and organise everything, do you know how tiring it can be? To get rejected or a sudden of being put pigeon, do you know how disappointing and hurtful it can get?

Disappointed. Pissed. Hurt. Angry. Gave up. Yeah, some of the feelings I've been feeling when its related to friendships. Shit.

It's good I never scolded the f*** cause my temper has susided by now. Thanks to my GOOD temper in nature -.-


6:03 AM

Monday, March 9, 2009

Today marks the death anniversary for my baby hamster.

1 after another and this hamster was 1 of them whom I dote the most. The most active one yet the most sudden death. I just hope she rest in peace and may god bless her in her next life.

Thank god papa is still around.


8:51 AM

Friday, February 27, 2009

My mama hamster just died. It died peacefully in a sleeping position with her eyes closed but..

I'm still trying to come to term with it.


10:40 AM

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Hello Blog!

Time flies! It's been nearly 2 months since I last blogged. Been really lazy and I was really really very busy with Chingay during Jan and busy with their closing of accounts during feb.

Chingay was really fun. A lot of unexpected things happened and it helped me made quite a few new friends. hahx. I'm not a cam-whore person so I don't have much pics to upload except those that they tag me in Facebook. hahx! I've learnt a lot throughout the whole process and it made me realise, events is not easy. Many things can happen beyond your control and emotion situation might be involve too. Learnt how to manage it and its really interesting to how someone changed during the event and after the event. Amazing.

I'm continuing to work here till end of June for their annual Soundwave's concert which is another fun thing to work for. Started school today and everything was pretty ok. Classmates still remembers me, I wasn't that bored blah blah blah.. hahx.

Bf is coming out this sat. Anticipating it as its been a long time since we really spent our weekends going out and walk around. I miss him and this feeling has never changed for 4 years. hahx.

My 21st birthday was held last week at downtown east chalet. It's a fun one but definitely the last one cause its too tiring. From preparing to serving to entertaining the different groups of friends, it feels damn cool that I actually have so much friends coming over to my party. I thought to myself, if there are 10 of them coming over I should be more than happy as I feel that I'm not that 'big' enough to gather so many people for my party. It turn out that around 30 people came and the presents I've received, I'm really super duper happy lahx. It feels as if they can read my mind. I wanted to buy Coach items long ago as I feel this is the only brand that if I save for a few months, I might be able to afford to buy the smallest item. hahx. Then comes the MP3 player. Cool colleagues! My darling gave me a Guess? watch which I'm really in love with! Your taste has improved! My 9 year old best friend gave me the complete set of mini absolute volka, COOL GIRL! hahx.

I also received lacoste tote bag, 4 different brands body wash, one piece Sanji, Piggy bank and cup, necklace and UNDERWEAR!!! hahx. First time in my life I've received a underwear for gifts man. Only me buy for others but now I'm receiving it. Damn cool lahx. hahx.

I really enjoyed myself and really thanks everyone who came! You guys rocks and hope we can all meet up soon as I didn't really have a chance to chat with the different people.

Thanks and I think I shall update till here then!


4:36 AM

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Hello guys! (If anybody is reading my blog =x)

Happy 2oo9!!!!

Finally, a new year has arrived. Suddenly, I realised 2oo8 is over and super fast! Hahx. 2oo8 has been a wonderful YET 'painful' year. Hahx. Happening Poly 3rd year with F A I R Y T A I L!!!
The process of setting up a business and running to making profit from it and gaining all the different experience that not many o ther people may get to experience. Hahx. After which is achange in my career direction. Events Management! Hahx. Working in PA has been a very very wonderful time. Honestly, this has been the most wonderful, interesting, happening and fun job that I've ever work. The colleagues that I'm working with, the different situation and task given to me. All of these helps me grow and I really really love this place. Lastly, the 'painful' thing would be the 3 times fall in Dec -.- My leg still hasn't recover and yea. I hate Charles and Keith's shoe now -.-

NOW!!! Let's view some of the beautiful fireworks that has happened on the 00:00 of 1st January, 2009!!!

*Pls ignore the date =)

Another year celebrating the New Year with you =) I'm glad that I've you by my side to see each and every fireworks during the different festive season and it has become especially meaningful when it is the New Year firework cause you are the 1st one I see on the oo:oo of 1st Jan of every year. I hope there will be more of such years and lastly, waiting for our 4th year anniversary and I LOVE YOU!!! =) =)

3:13 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's been quite long since I've blogged. A lot of things happened. I start to wonder, is my life a dull and boring one or is it an exciting one? I always think that my life is dull and boring. No interesting happenings, circle of friends is not too big and a lot more. But, I seem to have an interesting life with other people. I got many news and happenings of my friends and this make my life seems interesting? I don't know if it make sense too. Hahx.

Last week was a tormenting week. It wasn't good for me and the bf. I hope everything is acknowledged and we are both hoping for the better. The bf did changed and I hope this change will last cause I don't know what will happen the next time I break down again. Hahx. I realised, I don't tell much about my current relationship to others. Whether its gd or bad. Most of the people see us as a loving couple who seems like we will get married real soon. But I'm starting to ponder over this too. No details. All hidden in my heart =)

Work has not been stress free. All these stress causes my headace which is tormenting too. I just realised, I could have break down a lot of times during work. All the stress, low confidence... Yea. I'm so tired. So so tired. I wish I can have a break real soon and just break free from all these stress.



8:04 AM